here we go again

in almost exactly 24 hours i'll be on my way to fiji!

believe it or not, i am actually almost packed. it took 6 unpacking/repackings, but i'm finally just about done. also, my wetsuit, fins, snorkel, mask, blanket, pillow, and a pair of shoes are packed in my carry-on since i ran out of space in my suitcase. dang. you think that i'd be better at packing having had so much practice.

the past few days have been absolutely insane. i discovered that i am not certified to a high enough level for scuba diving, so i had to go pick up the textbook from the scuba store. 400 pages. FOUR HUNDRED PAGES! ahhh. so i have to read that, study it, and take some practice tests to prepare me for the real tests once i get to fiji.

i have not started studying the hundreds of fish i'm supposed to learn, as i have been studying the scuba book. we have to pass a test where we can identify all the fish before we can dive. i also have to take a test on blueventure's research methods. haven't started studying for that either. shoot shoot shoot.

i also applied to "college." in australia, the university's are made up of colleges. basically, a college in australia is like a college in the US except you don't take classes there. it has dorms and sports and a caf and gym, but then you go to class at Uni. anyway, getting into these colleges (housing) is ridiculous. you have to have 2 references, 4 passport pictures, a biography, an essay on why you want to be in that college, a list of extracurriculars/leadership roles, etc. there's only one college taking applications for second semester, so hopefully i get in! figuring out how to fax that to australia was a process that took like an hour and a half. such good times.

so, things have been busy and i can't wait to get to the beach! i'm ready to live the island life and be away from the states again. even though i've only been home 2 weeks. oh well.

i will try to update my blog as much as i can, but our grass huts may not be internet accessible :) if i can't update, i'll be back may 14!

something about the ocean makes me rise up and praise. something about the heavens makes me stand in awe again. something about the sunrise reminds me of your faithfulness. something about the ocean and i'm lost in love again. --ten shekel shirt

22, fiji, school

i do not even know where to begin this post, as it feels like a lot has happened since i got home... yet at the same time, nothing has really changed at all.

i leave for fiji in 3 days (tuesday). needless to say, i have yet to start packing. actually, i have yet to fully unpack from tanzania. i got home, headed straight to the laundry room and dumped all of my clothes into the machine. on one of the last days i was in africa, elizabeth and jenaya told me about these bugs they have there. basically, as your clothes line dry (the only way to dry them in tanzania), these little fly-like creatures lay their eggs in your clothes. then, when you wear them, the eggs burrow into your skin. you then get an itchy, painful rash-like thing. you basically have two options: cut your skin open to pull the eggs out or wait until the eggs hatch, turn into worms/larva and then they'll eventually burst out of your skin. the only way to kill them is to dry them or iron them so that they get hot and destroy the eggs. so, obviously the laundry room was on the top of my priority list.

i am so excited for fiji, yet remarkably unprepared. i really need to learn my fish species asap as i don't have much time left. i finally read over all the information and it's looking pretty sweet. we live in little grass huts on a private stretch of beach. not too shabby. we get electricity 4 hours a day, which should be interesting. it looks like most of the people i'll be with are coming from england. there's only one other american from what i can tell, and i appear to fall right in the middle age-wise.

speaking of age, i turned 22 yesterday! not really that exciting as my family left for spain and 22 doesn't come with any fun privileges, but i thought i would mention it. i dropped the fam off at the airport and then i went out to dinner with my friends kevin and matt.

i am almost definitely leaning toward the university of queensland, but i have yet to turn in my paperwork or apply for housing... sigh. those are also on my to-do list for the next 3 days. i am going to be a very stressed out, busy girl until i leave. it has been an unbearably difficult decision. let me just say: australian websites suck. they provide no information, are poorly organized, and contain no pictures. seeing as how i've never visited any of these schools and only know friends of friends who go there, it has been very difficult to figure out what any of the schools are like. 

i basically narrowed it down to the university of queensland and james cook university. UQ is the better school, but JCU has one of the best marine biology programs in the world. at JCU, i would live in cairns one year and then switch to their townsville campus for the remaining 2 years. i had a hard time deciding whether that move would work in my favor or against me. i've been moving around so much recently, but i don't really mind it all that much. i like being able to see new places and meet new people, but ultimately i decided that it's time to buckle down and stay in one place, at least for a little bit. plus, everyone lives in apartments in cairns (no on-campus housing) and i thought that would make it difficult to meet people. and the rainy season is a beast. so now i'm going to have a "marine science with an emphasis on marine biology" major at UQ. if i wanted to study straight up marine biology, i needed to do their 4 year honors program. i'm not sure how future employers will view having an "emphasis" on marine biology instead of a major in marine biology, but i guess we'll see. i'm still not 100% confident in my decision... or really even 50% confident, but i don't think i really will be until i get there and actually see the school. 

being back in the US has been interesting. the first few days were spectacular. it was nice to return to real showers, no scary bugs leaping into your face, and tivo. however, after a couple days, i started to feel a little ridiculous. the anger came when natasha richardson died. i'm sure she was a lovely woman, but is it really necessary to have her name and face on the front of every single newspaper, website and magazine? or even better, john mayer and jennifer aniston's breakup. what about the articles on the thousands of children dying from aids? or the orphans who are living on the street? or the kids who will forever remain uneducated, simply because they can't afford school? are these individual celebrities really who we're spending all of our time focusing on? 

i made the mistake of going to the mall in town and then the mall of america right after getting back. talk about culture shock. besides the fact that there's a giant stuffed shark that walks around MOA, i kept hearing snippets of everyone's conversations... "my butt looks huge in these... he said what? is she leaving him?... i NEED that bag from nordstroms...  i wish i had your arms... i'm so pissed they don't have these in my size! god, that's so annoying... my teacher is such a b!%#@..." it just went on and on. really, people? i just spent the past month listening to kids who've been home-less, school-less, parent-less. forget your butt and your bag and appreciate the fact that you have a teacher. 

people here are so high-strung and yet have so much. being away and then returning home makes me realize that there's a distinct correlation between the amount of stuff you have and the amount of stress you have. i've been home two weeks and have already replaced african time (aka no watches but no worries), sunsets on the porch, and dancing around art club with shopping, and worrying about money and jobs, and worrying about how i'll look in a bikini in fiji. last night i somehow managed to break one of our tvs (one was broken a couple days ago) and this morning, i was so irrationally irritated. then i realized: 1. we have multiple other tvs in the house. 2. i don't need tv. so i went on a walk with picabo instead. i keep having to remind myself that life is not a competition. sometimes in the US it feels that way. who went to the best school/got the best job/has the nicest car? it seems so crazy.

now i'm off to try to pack. i can't wait to get to bright blue water and white sand beaches :) i'm also excited to getting back to rice and beans, as crazy as that sounds. my stomach has had an even more difficult time adjusting to life back in the states than my brain has. i thought i'd be using my pepto stash in africa, but turns out i've needed it coming back home even more. blah!

pictures!

you can check out some of my pictures here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2031062&id=30001879&l=5088b864ca

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2031057&id=30001879&l=784ee7d23b

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2031059&id=30001879&l=7f517f7ef4

onward

3-13-09
9:43 am

oh man. i can't even believe today is my last day. part of me is excited for civilization and part of me is dreading the 12 degree tundra (i just checked weather.com. it immediately got me excited for fiji).

let's see...

wednesday was spent getting ready for the open house. it was an unbelievably chaotic day. jenaya and i started the morning running around town trying to get a few last minute things. ever shopped for tablecloths or printer ink cartridges in arusha? nearly impossible. we had to stop at like 4 locations for each thing. after we finally decided to have tablecloths made (of course ordering them took an hour), we were informed that they had decided to use circular tables instead of rectangular ones. also, we got back to school and realized that the cartridges we had finally found didn't actually work. good times.

wednesday afternoon was spent arranging flowers and hanging with art club. i was in charge of the centerpieces for the "high tables." i once took one of those tests that tells you what future careers you might excel at. the results: floral window box arranger, movie screen projectionist, funeral home director. after attempting to arrange 10 dozen roses in an artful fashion, i can now say that that test was crap.

after arranging the flowers, i headed up to check on art club's display. i did a cursory check for any illegal substances adorning the walls (clear!) and then made some more bracelets with the kids. now that the students are aware of my ipod/speaker, they pretty much request music anytime they see me. we listened to 'live your life' by t.i. (feat. rihanna) and the boys went CRAZY! they started dancing on desks and lipsynching with fake mics. when was the last time you saw a classroom full of high school boys dance? it was hilarious.

i also showed some of the kids pictures from home. i brought 2 little photo albums over with pictures of family, friends, and, of course, picabo. there were two responses that i heard from almost everybody: 1. WHY DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR? some of the girls literally started yelling at me. 2. can you come back and bring your dog? yup, picabo is now an international superstar. some of the kids liked the pictures so much that they asked to keep them. (mom, you and i are now hanging on the wall of mary's dorm. apparently we were "so beautiful" that she needed a picture of us).

wednesday night andrew and some of his roomies came over. one of his roomies graduated from james cook, so i got to hear all about it. the bad news is that the more i hear about the various schools, the harder time i have deciding. the good news is that everyone seems to love their school. it doesn't really seem like i can go wrong. we had spaghetti (i cooked all by myself! only burned myself 3 times) and just relaxed. very good way to end a hectic day.

yesterday was the big open house! it was a little disappointing, as there weren't nearly as many people as we had anticipated, but it was still fun. everybody was so excited, and we got the see the acrobatics club, choir and dance/drumming clubs perform. the whole student body was buzzing all morning and all of the teachers had dressed their best. i spent the morning with art club as they showed off their abundance of collages and beaded treasures. the most random part of the day occured during lunch. andrew had told me about a prof from the u of m who is in arusha at the moment. the guy is cycling with a group across... or up... or around... i don't entirely remember... africa. he was interested in visiting peace house, so he came for the open house. i ate lunch with him and then chatted with another woman he had met during his travels. she lives in arusha now, but grew up in edina! (she also spent a summer taking classes at cc). what are the chances??

after a very late but delectable lunch, the sports teams played. we had invited teams from other schools to come challenge us in volleyball, football (soccer), and netball. the best part was that they played each sport one at a time so the whole school could watch all of them. the kids here have so much school spirit it's incredible, especially considering the fact the school's only 2 years old. they were dancing and cheering and running around celebrating whenever a point was scored. i believe volleyball won, as did football. netball got... slaughtered. the team we played was super intense. i'm betting that they don't do hip thrusts as a warm-up. i have full confidence that my team will continue to improve once i leave, especially because two of andrew's roomies (from britain and australia) actually played netball and are interested in running clinics on the weekends!

yesterday was pretty much a day-long party and celebration and i could not have asked for a better last day.

last night i said goodbye to the kids after dinner. i ate one last meal of rice and beans and started letting people know that i wouldn't see them in the morning. the kids all left for break this morning, so i wanted to get the goodbyes over last night. after the last netball game, i was starting to feel a little discouraged. it seems like i wasn't really here long enough to make any tangible difference. i mean, the netball court is now the right size, but beyond that, what did i accomplish? a couple maths tutoring and class sessions and some random projects, but it didn't feel like enough. however, as i started talking to some of the students, i realized that it's less about the work and more about the relationships. these kids were so appreciative that i was just THERE, being with them and talking to them. many of them thanked me over and over for playing music with them and asking about their families and goofing around with them.

it's easy to forget that these students are just that... students. they're still kids, but it's hard to remember that sometimes. in class, and even outside of class really, they act like adults well beyond their years. out of the 7 or 8 kids i talked to yesterday about their families, only one had a parent they were going home to over break. the rest were going to siblings or aunts or uncles or friends. i talked to one girl yesterday whose parents divorced when she was 7. neither wanted to take care of her, so she became a street child for 4 years. when i asked her how she found food, she told me that some people will let you sporadically work for them and will pay you in food... for a whole DAY. she said this as if getting food for a whole day was unheard of. can you imagine living like that? of course you wouldn't act like a normal teenager. maybe i didn't turn the netball team into a championship winning team or raise the maths scores high enough for everyone to pass, but i got to spend some time making sure the kids were having FUN. when i first showed up in art club, the kids all sat there silently drawing pictures from magazines. nobody spoke and everybody took it very seriously. what kind of club is that? it was in stark contrast to yesterday, as we danced, laughed and jumped around the classroom all morning. even if i gave these kids a couple hours where they got to actually act like kids and make up for the time they've lost to poverty and disease, it was worth it.

as dinner wrapped up, i got up and announced that last night was my last night, so i wanted to say goodbye to everyone. then i went around to all 180 (185?) students and high-fived, fist-bumped (my knuckles may never recover) and hugged them. it started out as high fives, but there were a couple kids who weren't getting away without hugs. the first couple hugs i gave out were laughed at. the entire dining hall literally started cracking up. however, once they started realizing that i was indeed giving out hugs free of charge, almost everybody wanted one. as i hugged one girl, she burst into tears. i had never even spoken to her. these kids are severely underhugged. two girls and a guy ended up crying when i said goodbye to them, which obviously made it difficult to leave. there are a couple kids who have become my favorites and honestly, it was difficult not to smuggle them into my guesthouse and tell them to hop into my suitcase. eric alone got maybe 7 hugs before i could finally walk away.

i am praying that these kids will be the ones to turn around this third world country. i believe that some of them truly can. i wish i could come back before they graduate, but i guess the chances of me being back within four years are pretty slim. man, i wish i could fast-forward time for a little bit, just to see where they are.

so, now it's just about time to leave. i'm spending the day packing in my pajamas, as i have run out of clean clothes, and enjoying homemade salsa and chips and the world's best mangos. i can't believe how quickly this month has gone by. i feel like i have become a cliche. mess up and waste your life, come to africa to work with orphans, realize how lucky you are and have a "life changing" experience, go home. now i have to wonder where this journey is going to take me. do i continue the cliche? go home, forget everything you thought you had learned within months, return to old ways of living? i certainly hope not. here is both my resolution and challenge to you: learn to live in the moment. it is far from easy, but every breath you take is fleeting. every minute you live is one you will never get back. all of those wasted minutes you spent on regrets will add up in the end. despite challenges, heartaches, and setbacks, take comfort in knowing that each situation is opening up an opportunity that has the potential to change your life. up until this month, it was pretty easy to feel bitter about the way the whole college situation has turned out. however, now i can look back and realize that each of those schools led me to this experience. it's hard to stay bitter.

onward. life has taken me some crazy places so far, and for the first time, i am legitimately excited and ready for any new adventure. this month was hands-down the best month of my life. i got to meet hundreds of new people, from tanzanians, to people from around the US, england, sweden, australia and new zealand. now it's time to get home and get ready for fiji and then it's off to australia. not bad, eh? 2009 will certainly make up for 2008, 2007 and 2006 combined. i can feel it.




i'm releasing my heart and it's feeling amazing. --chris brown

you're the god of this city. you're the king of these people. you're the lord of this nation, you are. you're the light in this darkness. you're the hope to the hopeless. you're the peace to the restless, you are. there is no one like our god. for greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city. --chris tomlin

beware of slashers

3-10-09
2:03 pm



okay, for real this time i am going to try to be as concise as possible. ready, go.


saturday/sunday: very relaxing. saturday night, jenaya and tait (an american social worker) had a party at the guesthouse next door. it was definitely nice to hang out with people who live outside our bubble. sunday we went to church with many of the same people, then went to hang out at a guy-from-church's house. it was jenaya and me, tom from new zealand, will from sydney, dennis from sweden, and jake (aka bullocks-longbottom) from england. hearing everyone speak in swahili, but with different accents, was definitely entertaining. we sat on the porch just talking and eating jackfruit. if you're never tried jackfruit, seek one out the next time you're in a tropical location. they're bigger than watermelons, grow on the trunks of trees, and taste like a pineapple/banana hybrid. pretty much the strangest fruit ever.



monday: yesterday was one of the longer days i've had here. it started with morning meeting, where everyone gathers around the flagpole... teachers, social workers, students, etc. i don't know how often they occur, but this was the first full campus one i've seen (they also have student morning meetings every morning. one or two teachers goes to give announcements basically). first the students were scolded for not standing properly during the national anthem. apparently you're supposed to ball up your hands into fists, jam them down at your sides, and stand as straight as possible. then the headmistress got up to announce that one of the students had wanted to commit suicide the night before. yes, she announced it in front of the entire school. her main advice to students? "stop all love affairs." literally, her announcement went, "last evening one of the students wanted to commit suicide. you need to stop all love affairs." instead of privately trying to deal with this, she scolded the girl in front of the whole school. while the girl's name was never mentioned, there are less than 200 students here. it doesn't take long for news to travel. apparently the girl had broken up with her boyfriend and had tried to drown herself in the rain water tanks or well or something of that nature. here at school, romance and relationships are strictly forbidden. so instead of trying to work through problems, this poor girl was embarrassed and blamed for even getting involved with a boy.

after that uplifting message, 2 members of journalism club got up to make announcements. announcement number one: "the netball team played in a tournament last week. they lost their games because they are lazy." announcement number two: "a girl tried to commit suicide last night. HAHAHAHAHA." i kid you not, the boy giving the announcements snorted as he was saying this, leading the entire school to begin laughing with him.

sometimes... okay, frequently, it's difficult to be here because you want to just overhaul the whole system and way of thinking. you look at parts of the school, the curriculum, the teaching methods, the extracurriculars, even parts of the culture and want to say, "no! look at how WE do it! do it OUR way! it would go so much more smoothly and everything would work out so much better!" while handing out antidepressants like candy and forcing them to teach the way we do isn't necessarily the answer, it is definitely frustrating at times. things in tanzania move slowly. while i've adjusted to things never really starting on time, i sometimes want to look at people and tell them to just hurry things... their way of thinking... life... up. patience takes on a whole new meaning here. things do not just take days... they take years. sometimes ideas and practices seem so outdated that you wonder how people are still surviving with them. it has definitely been one of the greatest challenges i've faced here.

after lunch, it was back out to the netball court. peace house is having a big open house on thursday--people from other schools, government people, business people, neighbors and friends have been invited to come out and see what peace house is about. acrobatics club, choir and drumming will all be performing. the clubs will all have little exhibits to show what they do. and, netball, rugby and soccer will be playing games against other schools. therefore, the kids spent the afternoon doing "cleanliness." they are dispersed throughout campus to clean classrooms, dorms, the dining hall. many of them are assigned to "slashing." most of the grass is cut by hand, oftentimes by students who are being punished. they are handed a contraption that essentially looks like a giant metal spatula, except the end is thinner. actually, some kids are given giant knives/swords to hack the grass away with. you lean over and swing your arm back and forth. i got four slashers (female) and 3 guys assigned to help me with the netball court. i had already finished 2 of the 4 lines of the perimeter, but still had to measure out all of the other lines on the court, lay chalk, and slash the grass.

man.

the three boys were awesome. they knew what they were doing and were exceptionally hard workers. the girls... not so into slashing. i don't blame them as it's boring, blister inducing, and hot, but we really needed to get the court done. plus, they insisted on standing right next to each other so they could chat. normally i would agree that chatting makes life better, but when you're swinging a huge metal blade around, you probably want a little space of your own. so i have 3 boys pick axing and 3 girls slashing and one girl hacking away at the ground with a sword straight off a pirate ship, all within about a 20'x10' area. i was cringing and trying not to look for most of the time. needless to say, a pickaxer got slashed across the hand partway through. yesterday afternoon was one of those moments where i wanted to say, "hey, let's do this MY way. as in, with a bulldozer." we only got about 1/6 of the court slashed and we only finished the perimeter. so irritating.

this morning it was another early start at the netball court. this time i had 4 boys and twice as many slashers. the slashers lasted about 7 minutes and then sat down. the boys on the other hand were INCREDIBLE. they had a system going and had assigned jobs to each other, so it was quick work. measure the string. measure the area. lay down string. pick ax a trench. mix chalk. pour chalk. done. they even carried the nets (which are stuck in tires filled with cement) across campus from the old netball court. there is still the minor issue of there being a small cactus in the middle of our court, but pish posh. you can always play around the pricklies, right? especially in flipflops? also, i learned that you're supposed to mix the chalk with water before you pour it onto the ground. no wonder i had gotten it all over myself when i worked alone. the boys looked at me as if i were the dumbest person on the planet-- what? you don't know how to build a netball court? aren't you the COACH?!

hopefully the team will get a practice or two in before the big game on thursday. we've got some serious pride to regain. a couple of the girls did their "physicals" (exercises) on the new court today. the problem is that they're used to a teeny tiny court, so by the end, they were so winded they could barely talk. a girl stumbled into lunch and was so incoherent, i was convinced we'd have to IV her.

after we finished the netball court and i did a celebratory dance throughout campus, art club and i decorated a welcome banner for the open house. i had bubble lettered "welcome to peace house secondary" and told them to color the letters in and decorate the sign. here's what we ended up with on the poster:

-a giant moose
-a giant yellow balloon
-a rose the size of my face
-the letters "abcwxyz" stenciled on
-the phrase "peace'n'luv"... yup, luv
-some gray men doing acrobatics
-a big pot leaf

i swear, you turn your back for one second and the drugs get drawn. we had to color over it and turn it into a brown flower. then i had to give a lecture on the importance of not doing drugs or drawing them. then we all sang and danced to high school musical.

even though it was a long couple of days, the NETBALL COURT IS DONE. i never thought i'd be able to say that :)

3 days. now that my time here is ending, i would love it if time could just slow down for a while. for the first time in four years, i can finally say that i'm in the right place at the right time. it took 4 schools, 5 cities and 3 states, but i'm finally where i'm supposed to be. usually i get to a new place and am immediately thinking about where i'm headed next. even though i'm going to fiji, which has to be one of the most incredible places on earth, in a couple weeks, it's hard to even get really excited about it because it means i'm leaving africa. it's the first time i've allowed myself to just settle in and be in one place, without thinking about past or future places. i'm learning what it means to fully live in the present and it has given me the most indescribably wonderful high. i think that because of that (and of course many other reasons), tanzania will always be special to me. i will always remember it as the place where i realized that, oh hey. i CAN actually make good decisions every now and then.

ps-this wasn't short at all. sorry!





i can't really say why everybody wishes they were somewhere else. but in the end, the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself. --the weepies

i've got my memories. they're always inside of me but i can't go back, back to how it was. i believe it now. i've seen too much... and i've got my heart set on what happens next. i've got my eyes wide. it's not over yet... yeah, this is home. now i'm finally where i belong, where i belong. yeah, this is home. i've been searching for a place of my own. now i've found it... and now, after all my searching, after all my questions, i'm gunna call it home. i've got a brand new mindset. i can finally see the sunset. --switchfoot

the saddest flying butt

3-7-09
8:43 am

i am exhausted but having the absolute best time. now that i have less than a week left, i've decided that sleep, meals, and relaxing are pretty much a complete waste of time.

on thursday i spent the morning/early afternoon doing straight up manual labor. i spent what felt like 49 hours pick-axing a small trench around the perimeter of our new netball court so we could pour down chalk. i was pick-axing through rock hard dirt, fairly sizable rocks and weeds galore. my favorite part was probably when i raised the ax over my head, only to have the metal part fly off the handle. oops. the court might actually look worse than when i started, as the lines are crooked and the trench is a different width in every spot, but whatev.

after my day in the field, i was supposed to head to the netball tourney. however, my team took one look at my dirt, sweat, and chalk covered bod (i had picked up what i thought was an empty bag of chalk, only to have it spill all over my black capris) and decided they didn't really need my cheerleading skills that day.

instead, i went to art club where we made some good old fashioned plastic beaded necklaces and friendship bracelets! actually, a lot of the time was spent putting on a one-girl show. some of the students have seen some of my hidden talents (spinning a soccer ball on my finger, folding my tongue into a squiggly line, being able to pronounce hippopotamus without stuttering... which isn't common here, knowing all the words to "take a bow," knowing the hand/dance moves to "awesome god," etc) and word had spread. it felt like summer camp. not only was it fun, but i received a beautiful plastic star beaded bracelet. haha.

yesterday i was with the kids from 8 am until 8 pm. i was doing math from 8-3 and netball from 3-8.

the kids are definitely becoming less shy around me, which makes for more laughter and jokes and less me making a fool of myself, miming out what i'm saying, wondering if they understand me when they don't respond.

while five hours of watching netball is about 4.5 too many, i spent the time getting to know the girls a lot better and improving my understanding of the game. i remain convinced that it is one of the dumbest sports in existence, but i can appreciate a good team now when i see it.

going to the games is sometimes awkward, as a lot of the time more of the spectators are watching me then the game. girls will run up to me, shake my hand, say hello, giggle and then run away. guys will stop walking and blatantly stand directly in front of me, staring. a girl came up to me yesterday and said, "you are so beautiful and cute." mmm. uncomfortable.

at one point during the afternoon, i looked to my right and saw a pair of naked butt cheeks swinging directly toward my face. a 7 or 8 year old boy was clothed in a pair of oversized pants, which were riding around the bottom of his tush. he had grabbed onto a gate on the fence and was swinging back and forth. i sort of laughed, looked at one of the teammates, and jokingly asked, "what the heck is that boy doing???" ruthie glanced at him, looked back at me and said, "oh, he's a street child so he's just making trouble." i must have looked appalled because she went on to say, "don't worry, he shouldn't hurt you." um, not really what i was concerned about. as i looked at the boy more closely, i realized he was streaked with dirt, wearing clothing covered in large tears, and was barefoot despite being in a stadium filled with broken glass. later i asked ruthie what street children do all day and where they sleep. "well, they don't have homes so they just walk around on the streets to find food and then sleep on the street." oh. she said this all very matter of factly, like, "oh you know, just another street child."

living at peace house has been both a blessing and a curse. it's a blessing because i get to see the kids after they can call peace house home, after they've been looked after by the social workers here, after they've been regularly fed 3 meals a day and been given clothing and shoes. it's a curse because it makes it easy to forget about life outside our electric fence. some of the students come from the streets, others come from what is practically slavery, and others yet come from families torn apart by aids and poverty. all have been deemed "vulnerable" or "at-risk." the conditions some of the world still live in continue to blow my mind. how can we fill our garages with cars and our houses with toys and electronics and fancy furniture while street children are so common here that people don't even look twice?

as i continue to travel and see the world, i'm learning that two things are universal: the languages of faith and music. as soon as i ask people here what kind of music they like, they light up and get excited to hear what sort of music we have in common. bernard, a form 2 teacher and fellow art club supervisor, likes dolly parton, the temptations, and michael jackson (precrazy days). maureen, the netball captain, likes 50 cent. ruthie likes alicia keys. devaron likes rihanna. angel likes "awesome god" and happy likes "blessed be your name." erich likes jordin sparks. everyone likes shakira.

one of my favorite parts of being here is that living in africa is like living in a musical. it's not uncommon for people to just start singing--in the streets, down the halls, around campus. half of math tutoring yesterday was singing. while we rode to netball, one of the girls in the back randomly burst into song. before i knew it, the entire van was belting out alicia keys. a lot of the students have been taught the classic worship songs i've sung at youth group and church. it's crazy to think that i've sung these songs with people from around the world. they've been sung at camps in wyoming and utah, church and school in minnesota, colorado and montana, and volunteering in mexico, el salvador and now africa. as dusk settled and the moon began to rise over the netball court, angel, happy and i sat at the top of the stadium singing our favorite worship songs together. i sometimes forget how big god is. isn't it crazy to think that people around the world are singing the same songs and worshipping the same god? god in tanzania is the same god in edina, australia, el salvador, and everywhere else.

i'm starting to get sad that i only have 6 days left. it seems like yesterday i had 6 days until i arrived here. the more time i spend with the kids, the more i'm convinced that i'll eventually be back.




let what we do in here fill the streets out there. --passion band

it's the song of the redeemed rising from the african plains. it's the song of the forgiven drowning out the amazon rain. the song of asian believers, filled with god's holy fire. it's every tribe, every tongue, every nation, a love song born of a grateful choir. of all the bells rung from a thousand steeples, none rings truer than this. it's all god's children singing, 'glory, glory. hallelujah, he reigns. --newsboys

what more do i need?

3-5-09
9:12 am

so first of all, i'm coming home march 13! well, leaving here the 13th and getting home the 14th. it's crazy to try to wrap my head around the fact that what was supposed to be a 12 week adventure through africa/madagascar has turned into a 4 week trip to africa, 2 week trip home and 6 weeks in fiji. i have to keep reminding myself though that going home early is okay--it's not like the students will be here to spend time with anyway. plus, i need to get home and do some research--it's time to choose where in australia i'll spend the next 3-4 years of my life!

yesterday was one of the best days yet. now that i'm in the classroom and really getting to know the netball team, things have been looking up.

janaya and i started the day by teaching maths again. okay, i cannot say "maths" without feeling really weird, so we're going back to math. so we taught math, and this time we actually sort of knew what we were doing! the kids were a ton of fun. the great thing is that they're entertained by stuff that would normally barely entertain a 7 year old in the states. remember, "up high, down low, to the side, to the other side, in space, on your FACE?" (an elaborate way of high fiving). well, i did it once and suddenly all the kids were getting in space, on your faced. plus, the students are becoming less shy around me. some of them are practically my age (there are 20 year old students here), and we're developing less of a teacher-coach-student relationship and more of a friendship.

for lunch, the cooks made SPAGHETTI! this is pretty much unheard of. plus, one of the cooks waited until it was my turn in line and then revealed... vegetarian spaghetti! even though i eat meat at home, the beef here isn't too appetizing, so i usually just skip it. however, they had made an entire vat of vegetarian spaghetti after noticing that i don't eat the meat. there was enough to feed a starving family of 10, so i pretty much stuffed myself with pasta. so nice to have something other than ugali :)

at 1:50 we were supposed to depart for our second netball tourney game. at like 2:00 we found out that our ride was going to be a truck. i think they're called flat bed trucks? the kind they use on farms and stuff that look like really big pick ups, but the back of them lift up? it usually wouldn't be a problem except it was POURING rain. ha, so the team crawls into the back (outfitted in white tshirts. of course.) and off we go. when we arrive at 2:40 (our game was supposed to start at 2:30), the netball court is empty... AGAIN! however, we had the time correct this time, it was just that other teams were late. we started the game at 3:40 and got completely dominated. i have given up the role of coach and taken over the role of head cheerleader. some of my girls are outstanding athletes, but this tournament is really the first real game they've played in. i'm convinced that once they get the hang of it, they'll be unstoppable. there are a couple girls who i want to bring home, throw in a real gym, and have train. it's frustrating to know that some of these girls could be on their way to full-rides for sports in college if they came from someplace other than tanzania and had the resources to fully develop their skills. the girls were sad they lost, but assured me they would win the next one :)

part way through the 2nd half, angelo (one of the school's social workers) and i took a taxi to andrew's house. we had planned on meeting up, but since he doesn't have a phone, i just showed up. for some reason, one roommate thought he had left to come to peace house, one thought he was still home, and his mama was just wondering what the heck i was doing wandering through her house! luckily i found him and we rode back to netball and then took the van back to peace house. back on campus we had a beer, cheese and crackers, and sat on the porch looking out onto mount meru.

it was a great day. being here reminds me of christmas when i was little-i wake up so excited to see what the day will bring. everyday is an adventure and i'm learning to appreciate even the setbacks.

today i'll probably work on the netball court and then we have one tutoring session this afternoon. i can't believe that i only have 8 days left. how is it that it's gone by so quickly? i know though that i'll be back sometime. maybe once i graduate college and peace house is completely done with construction i'll come back for like a year. one month definitely isn't long enough.




take the time to start anew, maybe it's in front of you. take the time to walk down your street, heaven knows who you might meet. take the time to be okay, laugh a bit along the way. we could breathe again, step outside our front door. gaze upon the stars and know we're not alone. take the time to stop and stare at heaven's beauty everywhere. take the time to think about someone else besides yourself. so run into the fields, scream louder than you can. it's good to be alive and breathing air again. --robbie seay band

got the radio on, my old blue jeans, and i'm wearing my heart on my sleeve. feeling lucky today, got the sunshine. could you tell me what more do i need? and tomorrow's just a mystery, but that's okay. --taylor swift

no drawing marijuana

3-3-09
4:06 pm

man, i really need to update more often. i always mean to, but then i get busy and end up with novel-length posts. my apologies.

well, i have now officially been a netball coach for 4 days. our first practice was scheduled for saturday at 1:00 pm. i arrived at the netball court... field... mound of dirt, really, at 1:00 sharp, clearly forgetting i was in africa-show up on time and you can be hours early.

at 1:20 the first players starting showing up. 3/4 arrived in flipflops and most were wearing flannel pj pants. it had to be 90 degrees out that day.

my first job as coach was to make "jerseys." each player is required to have their position written on both the front and back of their shirt. let me point out that there are 34 players on our team and only 7 play at once. of course, as soon as the team saw the 14 jerseys (i made an extra set for scrimmages), chaos broke out. the next 40 minutes were spent arguing in swahili over who got to wear a jersey. i pretty much stood there trying to figure out how i could assign people to positions without actually knowing what any of them were. so i'm yelling in english, the girls are yelling in swahili, and i wouldn't even know how to get a game started if i wanted to.

once the arguing died down, we realized that someone had neglected to get a ball-probably me. the captain ran to get one and returned with a partially deflated soccer ball. we play with what we can get here.

i tried my hardest to coach, but how do you coach a sport you've never seen before? really i just stood there and fried in the sun for 3 hours. i was asked to ref, but politely declined, knowing that i would probably mess up their game. i'm totally rocking the coaching position. the 20 extra girls stood there with me. i was going to do some drills, but then realized we didn't have access to anymore balls. then i thought i'd do conditioning, but didn't think i could make the girls run in flipflops.

the practice ended when a girl in flipflops gashed her toe on a sharp rock. she reached down to smear the blood off and then immediately grabbed onto my hand for support. as we were walking to the nurse's office, it hit me that perhaps i should be wearing gloves or something? i've heard some of the kids here are hiv+ but i don't know which ones. oh well. here's hoping.

i'm only sort of sad to say that i neglected my coaching duties when i slept through the 5 am practice sunday morning (i had told the girls i probably wouldn't make it). instead, i slept, woke up and went to church with janaya. after church, a guy from denver came to tour peace house. he's been in tanzania volunteering and doing neurosurgery for the past month. the crazy part? we discovered he was close friends with my dad in med school.

i got up monday and started wandering down to the office to find janaya. as i was walking through campus, i saw half the netball team jog past me. "sister? are you coming to the tournament with us?" wha? tourney? don't bother telling the coach!

i hustled back up to my room, grabbed some water, a rain jacket and my camera. the team showed up with the van at my doorstep, so i hopped in and wedged myself between one of the teachers and the driver--you really aren't riding tanzania style if you aren't being impaled by the gear shift in your right thigh.

i'm picking up on some kiswahili (thank you, elephant, hakuna matata), but i have yet to learn the phrase, "i really need to sit by an open window or i might puke on your face." for those of you who don't know me well, i get crazy carsick. i can't last 5 minutes in a car without feeling ill. therefore, i've taken dramamine almost everyday since arriving. however, because of all the rushing around, i had neglected to pop a couple before departing.

so we drive off toward the tourney. during the journey, we saw a squished dog. this may sound culturally insensitive, but it really adds to the barf-inducing adventure: apparently tanzanians don't believe in kleenex. you can pick your nose in public and it really is not a big deal. so the teacher i'm smushed next to starts picking about 4 minutes in. a few minutes of digging later, she grabs my hand to tell me how much she enjoys having volunteers come to peace house.

upon arrival at the stadium, i promptly found myself a corner and parted with my breakfast. netball tourney, day 1, off to phenomenal start.

after my little puke party, i looked around and realized 2 things: 1. the court at peace house is maybe a third the size of what it should be and 2. we are the only people there.

turns out somebody translated 3:00 pm in swahili to 9:20 am in english. so, we piled back into the god-forsaken van and headed back to campus.

my next order of business was to relocate the netball court and expand it. it basically meant climbing through knee high weeds, a random cactus, and burr-filled plants, measuring the sides, and then pounding rusty rebar into the ground with the end of a pick ax. since we were measuring the string, janaya and i accidentally made it 30% too small the first time, so then we had to start all over. overall, a fairly frusterating morning.

at 2:00, we got back in the van, passed the squished pile that no longer resembled a dog, and arrived at the tourney--this time there were actually other teams there!

my team changed out of their flip flops (most had borrowed shoes from friends-and most of those borrowed shoes were ballet flats) and began to warm up. apparently in netball, "warm up" doesn't actually mean "practice." have you seen remember the titans? you know the scene where they come out onto the field? same vibe. they line up and then flap, clap, hip thrust and wiggle around the perimeter of the court. a good coach would have stifled her laughter. clearly i've already proven i'm a terrible netball coach.

our team ended up playing a city team, comprised of women who had to be pushing their late 30s. they were terrifying! i would have been afraid to get on court with them, not going to lie. but my wonderful girls only lost by 2! i was very, very proud of them. we've got a few really talented athletes... i think that once they start practicing on a court that's the right size, they'll do a lot better.

we proceeded to stay and watch 3 games. let me say, there IS indeed a limit to how many netball games one can watch in a row before she begins contemplating running away.

last night, i was invited to paul and elizabeth's house for dinner, which was really nice. mainly it was nice to have some company and a home-cooked meal!

also, it was decided last night that i'm going to FIJI!!!!!!!!! i'm SO excited. i got an email from a guy who's there now, and they had just completed a dive with spinner dolphins, turtles, white-tipped sharks, and a couple other reef sharks. i'm definitely disappointed i won't be going to madagascar. it's so random and remote, who knows the next time i'll be in this neck of the woods? but, i also don't want to be shot in the face with tear gas. haha. and cmon... FIJI! WHOO! the cheapest way to fly is actually to go through mpls, so i'm heading home for a couple days. i leave here march 26 and arrive march 27. i haven't figured out yet if that means my birthday will be extra long or extra short :) it will definitely be nice to do laundry and eat a few meals that don't include rice or beans. actually, i'm hoping nwa will be nice and let me change my flight once more-i just found out that the kids are on break starting march 13 and the entire campus will pretty much shut down. plus, it'd be nice to not have to do two 20+ hour flights within one week.

todays was maths all day--and yes, apparently math is plural here. janaya and i taught three classes this morning and then did three tutoring sessions after lunch. the morning was sort of a joke. the maths teacher is on verification this week, so he left us a few problems to go over. unfortunately, neither of us could remember how to do most of them, so we had some of the smart kids do them on the board and prayed they knew what they were doing! tutoring was a whole different story. we are tutoring the kids who scored a 0% or .5% on their last exam. i was with 16 and 17 year olds today who didn't know that zero is less than three, or that 1/2 always equals 50%, or that 6x4 does not equal 64. one girl told me that 1000-25=996. it was really sad, because if these kids don't pass their math exam at the end of the year, they're sent home and most likely will never complete secondary school. as much as i'd like to say my tutoring will help, some of these kids have YEARS of catching up to do. a few of them definitely have learning disabilities, but of course there aren't the resources here to do anything about them. most of these kids probably went to poor primary schools, fell behind, and never caught up. not surprising, seeing as how some schools in tanzania have class sizes of 70-80.

despite a completely sobering afternoon, there were a few funny parts. apparently my wacky handwriting is so distinctly american that the students can't even read it. they thought my "a"s were "2"s, so they kept reading "and" as "2nd." we were both so confused and they couldn't explain in english what was tripping them up. finally a girl pointed at an "a" and said, "what is that?" i explained that in america, some people shaped their "a"s differently. she went on the say, "well, nobody HERE writes like that! also, your 4s look very strange!" haha. so while the students were getting back to the basics of how to count, i was going back to the basics of how to write the alphabet.

immediately after tutoring i went to art club, where we attempted to make greeting cards we could sell for peace house. during art club last week, i walked over to a boy's drawings and noticed that they were covered in pictures of marijuana. so, despite feeling a tad ridiculous i had to clarify: you are not allowed to draw drugs. we listened to some jonas brothers, rihanna and disney. the highlight was when a 15 year old boy started belting along with "one step at a time" by jordin sparks.

overall, things continue to go well. yesterday was long, hot, emotionally exhausting and left me pining for a country with ample supply of kleenex. however, despite being filled with maths, today made me glad i hadn't opted to just run home last night. one day at a time.



now you're feeling more and more frustrated. and you're gettin' all kind of impatient, waiting. we live and we learn to take one step at a time. there's no need to rush. it's like learning to fly or falling in love. it's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen and we find the reason why, one step at a time. --jordin sparks